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| My Updated Resume |
My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I
just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried to be a Tailor, But I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
Then, I tried to be a Chef -figured it would add a little spice to my life, But I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working in Starbucks, but I eventually quit because it was always the same old grind.
So, I tried retirement and, you know what? I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB
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Send this Joke to your Friends!
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| Where He Put His Pickle |
There once a man who worked in a pickle factory. He had this very great and powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. This went on for years, and finally he couldn't stand it. He decided that he had to do it.
The day he finally did it he arrived home from work at 11am. His wife was very worried and asked what happened. For the first time, he explained to her this long-time desire to put his dick in the pickle slicer.
The man's wife gasped and ran over to him, yanked his pants and briefs down, and found his member perfectly intact.
"I don't understand," she exclaimed, "what happened to the pickle slicer?"
The man replied, "I think she got fired, too."
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| My Point Exactly!!!
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01/17/2010, 02:58:16 AM |
| AAADD
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01/17/2010, 08:44:15 AM |
| Budget Cuts
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01/17/2010, 02:38:25 AM |
| Cows, Golf, and a Wife
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01/17/2010, 07:18:53 AM |
| Population 300 Million
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01/17/2010, 03:15:32 AM |
| 6 Reasons Not To Mess With Children
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01/17/2010, 02:17:57 AM |
| Best Menopause Question Ever
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01/17/2010, 02:20:51 AM |
| They Say Elephants Never Forget...
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01/17/2010, 05:56:51 AM |
| How it's Done in DC!!!
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01/31/2010, 12:33:52 PM |
| Funeral Procession
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01/17/2010, 05:54:15 AM |
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